Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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