just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
