Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
