so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
