Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
