there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize