even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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