all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
