All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
