I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize