I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
