I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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