took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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