Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
NoShamevember. You game?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
