So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize