Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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