I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
