Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
