i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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