remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
