Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
