You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i out mim tonsoeep
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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