I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
