Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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