Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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