how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
