what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
