I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
