i can't believe i had my finger in that
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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