I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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