it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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