i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
