You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
