She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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