sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
