I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
