i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
