you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
