glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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