i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
