That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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