i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize