I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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