So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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