I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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