Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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