dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
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