Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
