He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
