I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
