Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Found the puke drawer
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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