Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
