Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize