its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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