JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
