they need to just BURY HIM!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
