We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize