Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
