Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
