seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
