How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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