I only kidnapped one of them. chill
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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